Merry Christmas?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Merry Christmas?  I'm not so sure about that.  Not to be bah humbug or anything.  It's just that if any of you know what it's like to have a blended family, then you'll totally understand how Christmas (along with all other holidays) tend to lose their excitement when your kids have to be shared with someone else.

Josh and I have been married for 5 years.  We have been 'sharing' our kids with ex-spouses for longer than that so you would think we would be pros at this by now.  However, even with a decree that tells how things should be done, things are RARELY done that way which causes a lot of tension and bickering on everyones part.  Not exactly what I would call the holiday spirit.  This year was supposed to be different.  This year felt pretty normal.  I thought I had it all under control.

This Christmas is our 'off' year with  the kids.  This means that instead of having them on Christmas, we will have them for New Years.  We have decided that on the years we don't have the kids for Christmas we will not buy gifts for them (by the time we see them on New Years, they've had 4 other Christmas's~another thing that comes along with blended families).  Instead, we have chosen to focus on memory builders on our off years.  This means that instead of gifts, we try to take the kids somewhere fun and out of the ordinary.  Something they will enjoy and remember instead of just stuff.

Personally, I have enjoyed this tradition and it makes not having the kids on Christmas that much easier because I know we will be doing something super fun, just a week later, and it gets me out of having to shop for Christmas presents!!

This year is a little different.  Ryson will be staying with us for Christmas even though it is his Dads year to have him.  This makes me sad.  Not because I don't want Ryson around, but because I've had to be the bad guy this year and tell Ryson he can't go to Utah.  Trust me, I have my reasons.  There is a LLLLLOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGG story and lots of reasons why he will not be going to Utah this year.  None of which I will be sharing.  I feel bad because Ryson REALLY wants to go see his Dad.  He misses him, that is understandable and one day he will understand why I had to do what I did this year.  Because of all of this drama, I have not been in the Christmas mood at all.  I have had a hard time even wanting to deal with Christmas.  I feel horrible disappointing Ryson and not being able to tell him all the details as to why. 

BUT~With the decision finally being made to keep him here, I feel like I can start focusing on Christmas.  I have a few days off of work starting today and I think the break will be very helpful.  I can stop thinking about all the negative things that are happening and re-direct my attention to making this a fun and memorable time for the three of us that will be spending Christmas together.  Good Times!!

This pic has nothing to do with this post.  I just thought it was hilarious!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Life Lessons

Ryson is growing up.  Way to fast if you ask me.  However, it is so satisfying to sit and watch as your little boy turns into an amazing young man.  Here's the story:
In November, Ryson went through school basketball tryouts.  It was three days of workouts after school for approximately 2 hours.  Ryson is no stranger to basketball, so this was nothing for him.  He was used to the drills and the warm ups and the running etc.  We really didn't think that Ryson wouldn't make the team (that sounds over confident, I know).  On the last day of tryouts, the coach had all of the boys line up on the wall.  If he called your name, you would go stand under the basket on the other side of the gym.  If he didn't call your name, he thanked everyone for their efforts and asked them back next year.  The coach was only taking 12 players out of around 25 kids.
I wasn't there for this big moment, but Josh went.  He said that as the coach started reading names, he couldn't do anything but look at the floor~he was so nervous about the outcome.  As the coach went down his list, calling those that had made the team, he had made it through 11 players and still hadn't called Ryson's name.  Then, FINALLY he called Ryson.  I can only imagine how nervous Ryson was standing there waiting for his name to be called (especially considering how nervous Josh was).  I was so excited to hear that he had made the team.

Fast forward a couple of weeks:

Ryson has had around 5 school games so far.  He has sat on the bench for the majority of these games.  He gets more playing time than some kids on the team, but not as much playing time as he would like.   This bothers him, and honestly, it bothers me too.  However, we have tried to tell him that his playing time is determined on his work ethic at practice and during the game.  We have also told him that if he wants to know what he's doing wrong, he needs to talk to his coach.  This is a terrifying thought for Ryson.  What? Talk to my coach?  He asked if I would do it for him.  I told him no and that if  he planned on playing basketball in the future (one of his goals is to get a college scholarship to play basketball) then he needs to learn how to be 'coached' and that does not include mom being the go between.
Poor Ryson has gone weeks, sitting on the bench, chewing his nails and avoiding eye contact with his coach.  His skills have suffered on the court because he is so nervous to talk to his coach and at the same time he is getting less and less playing time.  
So, we made him a deal.  Ryson works amazingly well with reward charts.  He will do just about anything to mark off a spot towards a reward.  I told him if he talked to his coach I would give him 3 marks on his chart (which would get him to his goal mark of $20). 
Last night, as soon as the game was over, I was looking around for Ryson and guess where I found him.  He was standing on the sidelines having a conversation with his coach!  I could tell he was SO nervous to be standing there listening to what the coach had to tell him but I was so proud to sit there and watch him learn a little life lesson that sometimes it's up to YOU to suck it up and put in the effort if you want to grow. 
I don't care if he sits the bench the rest of the entire season!  Watching him take that step and knowing how hard that was for him made me more proud of him then any last minute, game winning shot, ever could!

From: The Schneider Family

Happy 8th Birthday Blake!!!

Can you believe this kid is 8?  Hard to believe that in just a few short weeks Blake will be getting baptized.  Blake is so much fun!  He says the funniest things and is totally serious about it.  You have to be careful what you say to Blake.  He's quick on his feet and he will come back with some of the best responses.
 

Example: 

Blake - Lindsay, will you help me get some milk?  Me - Just a second. 

Blake -One.

He cracks me up.  He always puts a smile on my face.  Even when he's angry and gets all tense and red and stomps up every single step to his bedroom while saying mean things through his teeth-I still smile!

Blakers, I love you so much.  Thank you for being such a fun part of our family!  Have a GREAT birthday!!

Pity Party

As unattractive as it is and as hard as it is to admit, I've been  feeling a little sorry for myself lately.  Do you ever just get in one of those moods where you know you have nothing to complain about, yet you feel the need to complain about everything?  Well, that's the kind of mood I've been in the last few days. 
Maybe it's the change in the weather around here, or hormones, or lack of exercise, or stress about the upcoming holidays.  Whatever it is, it's getting the best of me at the moment.  Unfortunately my husband is taking the brunt of it.  I love him so much yet he seems to be my go to guy when it comes to needing to take out some frustration.
Josh tells me quite often that I'm a pessimist.  I'm beginning to believe him.  Not that I don't want to see the good in every situation, I'm just an analyst by nature and I tend to OVER analyze any given situation.  I'm not sure how this bad habit started, but I'd sure like to figure out a way to stop it. 
I've been feeling really left out of life lately.  Like I'm not around.  Kind of like I'm watching everything from the sidelines.  I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that Ryson is getting older and is very self reliant (Which should make a mother proud right?).  Some of it is because my husband is very capable of doing anything (and everything) that needs to be done (Which should take the burden off a wife right?).  The irony of it all is that I've always WANTED the stress and chaos of being a MOTHER and lately it seems as though being a mother is the last item on my 'to do' list.
I had taken a side job a few months ago to see if I could transition into doing something on my own (at home).  I quit that job Monday.  Not that I couldn't do it, not because the extra money wasn't nice,  but because it was one more thing 'to do'.  I wasn't happy going from one job to another twice a week.  It just meant missing out on what is/isn't happening at home (which is really where I want to be anyway).
I feel to busy, yet not busy enough all at the same time.  It's hard to explain and this is only the tip of the iceberg, but I needed to get it off my chest so that I can take a deep breath and reset.
I have a wonderful life, we've worked really hard to get where we are today.  I need to buck up and realize that I should be THANKFUL that I am surrounded by people that LET me 'watch from the sidelines'.

Happy 16th Birthday Zak!!!!

We are so proud of you and ALL of your 16 years!!! 

Halloween...Again

I know I posted about Halloween not to long ago, unfortunately we got to do it all again.  haha

Last night we had a bunch of friends over for chili and cornbread and let the kids go run around the neighborhood begging for candy.
It's kind of nice that they are old enough that you can just give them a curfew and set them loose and not have to walk all over (usually in the cold) watching them go door to door.
Ryson is getting too old for trick-or-treating but he just couldn't bring himself to stay home.  He and his friends decided that they all needed to get together and go.  He didn't have a costume or any idea of what he was going to be but we told all of them that if they were going to go trick-or-treat, then they had to at least dress up.
At first he wanted to be a zombie or just do some crazy makeup of some kind, but with people coming over, I didn't want to have to spend the next hour or so putting makeup on him. 

Instead, we came up with the best costume ever!!

Talk about the best form of flattery....it was classic!!

Happy Halloween

Homecoming?!?!?!

Zak attended the Kentwood Homecoming a couple of weekends ago with his "girlfriend" Heidi.  No he is NOT 16, but it's not like ANY of his parents waited until they were 16 to go to their first dance so we all had a hard time telling him he couldn't go (especially when he's 16 in SEVEN DAYS).  The idea that there was a HUGE group of kids going made us all feel better.  Pretty sure Zak had the time of his life!

Zak and a bunch of other people met up at one of his friends houses for pictures and to load the party bus.  There were tons of parents there taking pictures so it was a bit crowded and hard to get any great pictures but we did the best we could.

Zak was not happy about wearing his sling for the dance so it lasted through maybe two pictures and it was off. 

 The popular attire for the evening was Vans and bow ties.  Any color/style you could imagine.  These are just a couple of Zaks broskyz.  His date also sported the turquoise swag...

                

             Zaks Crew.
        Chase and Alex.

Heidi.  The date/girlfriend.  Posed for pictures for probably a solid 45 minutes and I don't think we got a single one where Zak isn't pulling some kind of face.  He LOVES the camera but HATES being "normal" so this was as close to "normal" as I could get.



Exchanging flowers 

It was so fun to get to go and watch Zak start this new milestone of his life.  I'm a bit anxious to think what is ahead for us with him and dating, but so far he seems to be pretty level headed when it comes to girls and what is expected of him. 

The most surreal moment of that day, was watching him get on the party bus with that whole group of kids and knowing that the rest of the evening was out of our control. 

We trust Zak to be a good kid and to do what he's been taught no matter what crowd he's with, but it sure is a helpless feeling to stand back and watch them grow up!

Party On!!!

October 21, 2006

Happened to be one of the best days of my life!  My husband and I have been married for 5 YEARS.  Can you believe that?  So much has happened since we were married.  We have moved 3 times, we have built a house, Josh is working for a different company, the kids are all growing up, it's just crazy to see how much happens in such little time.
When we were married, Blake was in diapers,  Riley cried the ENTIRE time we were taking pictures because he was tired,  Bella didn't leave my side because she LOVED my wedding dress and the fact that she got to hold flowers etc., Ryson walked me down the aisle, Zak got to buy his first suit for the occassion AND gave the toast at our wedding dinner as the Best Man.  What fun memories!
We were married at my in-laws home.  Only family attented.  I think we had around 10 people total but it couldn't have been more perfect...

I fall in love with this man more and more every day.  I couldn't have asked for a better person to share my life with.  It's amazing to think what we've accomplished, together, in just 5 short years!!

There's nothing like TRUE LOVE!!

DOH....Moses Lake

While going through my pictures last week, I realized that I never posted anything about our trip to Moses Lake over Labor Day.
It has been fun for us to spend time in Moses Lake the last few years.  There is a free place to stay and access to a boat and a Jetski.  What else do you need?
Ryson usually misses out on this annual trip because he goes to Utah for the summer, but this year we went later in the year and he got to come along (so did Nana, Papa, Auntie Alma, and cousins Heidi and McKenzie). 

We had a great time playing in the water and the sand.  The kids slept outside in a tent (well for some of the night~thanks to Zak and his SPOOKY stories).

We also had the chance to meet up with our AMAZING friends the Turley's.  We have so much fun with these guys.  I don't have a picture to prove it, but we had such a great time at their lake house. This is the ONLY picture I got.  The kids jumped off the boat garage into the water, played on the tubes and then we went on a boat ride and Josh and Adam jumped off a 50ft cliff!!!

 Crazy fun times in Moses Lake!!!

Family

Have I ever told you all how much I LOVE my kids?  Look at these guys!  They are all their own individuals and yet they all blend so nicely.  I could never ask for a more perfect family!

Zak- What a GREAT kid!  This guy is so much fun (most of the time).  We have certainly had our ups and downs with each other over the years, but he has been SO accepting of me.  He used to be an angry, confused, bitter little guy when I first met him.  He has grown into a strong, confident, happy young man and I am so blessed to have him as part of my life.  I wouldn't trade any of our trials for anything in the world.  I know our relationship is stronger because of the things we have learned from/about each other over the years. Although Zak thinks Josh and I are the "weirdest" parents around, we do what we do because we love him so much and just want to see him make the best choices possible in his life.  He is so talented and has so much to offer in all aspects of his life and I can't wait to see where it all takes him.

Ryson- He is such a genuine person.  He LOVES everyone and makes friends so easily.  He is such a huge help to me.  Ryson is such a hard worker and will do just about anything  I ask him to without argument.  Although Ryson is technically an only child, he has 11 step brothers and sisters and has done an amazing job of holding himself together through all of the changes in his short little lifetime.  He is great friends with all of his siblings and LOVES being part of a big, mixed up FAMILY.  He gets pretty lonely when the kids are away and asks often when they will be coming back.  Don't get me wrong, he certainly loves his ALONE time too and I believe his personality is cut out for the kind of life this guy has had.
Josh and I expect a lot out of Ryson and he is so good natured to take it all in stride and not fight us (at least not often) about doing homework, extra homework, 4 days of basketball practice, church activities, scouts, etc.  What a great person this kid is and what a great guy he is turning out to be.

Isabella- Wow.  She is growing up SO fast!!  Bella has always been a princess by nature.  Ever since the day I met her, she has been a fan of skirts and high heels, boys and makeup, all things girl!
It has been so fun, and somewhat frightening, to watch her grow into a young women so quickly.  She has started babysitting a lot lately and is starting to earn some of her OWN money.  How great is it that we can trust that she is mature enough to take on the responsibility of taking care of others.  Although she would never admit it, I know she loves helping out with the younger boys, helping with meals and with whatever else we need her to help with around the house.  Bella has a very strong personality.  Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is not so good.  She has grown up a lot and is learning how to use this personality to her advantage.  She is not shy AT ALL and LOVES to be the center of attention!  Isn't she beautiful?

Riley- Every family needs a Riley!  He is our tender one.  He is ALWAYS thinking of others and is very kind hearted.  He is a more shy than the other kids and is VERY cuddly and likes to stay close.  Riley is so smart and I love doing homework with him and watching him learn.  He is so animated and playful and has such a fun personality.  He is very methodical about everything that he does.  A kid after my own heart!

Blake- You can certainly tell that Blake is the youngest.  This boy is SO SMART!  He picks things up so quickly and is going to be very talented just like his older brother.  Blake doesn't like to be the center of attention at all. He likes to be alone and is typically off in his own little world.  He loves junk drawers and can usually find a use for just about ANYTHING.  I can't believe our youngest will be getting baptized in just a few weeks!  Where does the time go?

I love my family and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us!



Halloween...

While driving home on Friday afternoon, it dawned on me that the Ward Harvest Party was Saturday night.  Plans for Friday night included picking up the kids in Auburn and going directly to basketball practice and then to the Tahoma Football game that night.  Plans for Saturday included, planning church lessons, getting pumpkins, a 4 hr merit badge clinic, decorating for Halloween, practice for the Primary program, car pooling to a birthday party, going to see Zak off on his first High School dance/taking pictures, etc. 
Needless to say, there was very little time for costume creating for Saturday night.  I was trying hard to come up with something creative for the kids to be for the party.  Halloween is my least favorite holiday.  I can't stand how much money we fork over for candy and costumes each year and the amount of time and creativity that the holiday requires just puts me in a bad mood.  This year we told the kids we were not going to BUY anything.  It was all coming out of the 'dress up bin'.
While decorating the house, I overheard Riley talking about a piece of candy that was in the candy bowl on the table.  Idea number one for Halloween costumes.  Jolly Ranchers....

We have a TON of wrap left over from when we moved into our house so we made Jolly Rancher signs and then wrapped the boys up in Saran Wrap.  They turned out pretty funny.

Bella (who because of the tight schedule I have ZERO pictures of) went as the "popular girl" and Ryson was supposed to be the nerd that wanted to hang out with her.  Because of birthday party overlap, Ryson didn't get to the party until it was 1/2 over so Bella only had 1/2 a costume.

Zak didn't join us for any of the fun.  He had better things to do.  The Kentwood Homecoming football game....DUH!!!

However, after HOURS of begging and pleading, we actually got DAD to dress up for Halloween this year.  He went as the horrifying version of Frankenstein.  We had about 15 minutes to do his makeup but he turned out pretty good.  Everyone at the party was baffled.  They couldn't tell who he was other than he was walking around with me.

Me?  I put on some fake eyelashes and went as a tired Mom.  I had all of two minutes to put myself together before running out the door. 

We had a great time.  The trunk-or-treat took place in the POURING rain but it didn't slow any of the kiddos down.  They'll do just about ANYTHING for a bag full of candy!

Best part of all?  The kids will be in Puyallup for Halloween this year, so I'm already DONE and it's only the 25th!!!

Broken

I got home late from work last week and Josh and I went to dinner while Ryson was at YM.  I had been home for probably 20 minutes before we left, then we drove to the restaurant, sat down, started on our chips and salsa and Josh gets a text.  After responding, he says "oh...Zak broke his collar bone...".  THEN he proceeded to tell me the events of the evening and what he had been dealing with. (MEN!!!!)

Story has it that Zak called him and said he was on his way to the doctor because he broke his collar bone.  We have had several phone calls like this from Zak.  Not about a collar bone, but about a thumb, or a wrist, his back, a concussion, etc.  Josh said he seemed really laid back about it so he told him he doubted it was broken.  Zak said "well there is a bump and it feels like something is broken" so Josh told him to keep him posted about what the doctor had to say.

There you have it.  Plain as day.  Broken collar bone.  Zak was "wrestling with a buddy and the guy did a legit wresting move on me" and broke him. 

Worst part is that the ACTUAL wrestling season starts shortly and Zak will NOT be participating because of this injury.  He is now in a sling (that he refuses to wear because "people treat him like he can't do anything").  He goes back for more x-rays in two weeks to see if surgery will be needed.       (BOYS!!!!!)

Long Time No Blog

Apparently when summer is over,  fun comes to a grinding hault.  I haven't blogged for weeks and I can't think of one thing that has happened that is even remotely interesting.

Normally we would have basketball every weekend but tournaments have been getting cancelled due to lack of teams in our age division.  So we have had several basketball free weekends which has really thrown us out of our routine.

A couple of weekends ago, Josh and I were home without any kids for the entire weekend.  We cleaned and got caught up on EVERYTHING.  My ironing was completely done, laundry done, floors done, bathrooms done, went through drawers and closets and made a Goodwill pile, dusted, paid bills, cleaned the fridge, etc.  It was insane how much we got accomplished.  However, on Sunday, I was bored out of my mind.  It was General Conference so we didn't even have church, we just listened to it on the radio while we lounged around. 

Our evenings now consist of homework, basketball practice, scouts, a side job, and endless games of Modern Warfare.  Nobody wants to read a blog about that!  I don't even want to WRITE a blog about that!

Moderate Dysplasia?!?!?

I received the results back from my Dermatologist yesterday.  Moderate Dysplasia.  However, the borders where clean so no need for additional testing.  I Googled Moderate Dysplasia and this is what it says:

According to the National Cancer Institute, doctors believe that dysplastic nevi are more likely than ordinary moles to develop into a type of skin cancer called melanoma. However, currently, most dermatologists do not believe that dysplastic nevi develop into melanomas.^{[citation needed]} But individuals with multiple dysplastic nevi are at much higher risk for developing melanomas. Because of this, moles should be checked regularly by a doctor or nurse specialist, especially if they look unusual; grow larger; or change in color, or outline; or if any changes occur.

Needless to say, my doctor wants to see me back in December and then AT LEAST once a year for basically the rest of my life.  I'm glad I got this checked out when I did.  She told me it was well on it's way to developing into melanoma.  That would have been fun...

Signs of Getting Old

I've been blessed by genetics to be covered in moles.  I've never had any problems with it but once in a while I get kids asking "what's that?" and poking and picking at the moles on my neck. 
I have a few family members that have had some issues with skin/skin cancer etc. so I've always been a little nervous about having so many potential cancer causing marks on my body.
I went to the Dermatologist a few months ago and she checked me from head to toe (not the greatest experience in the world). 
When she came to a flat mole on my back just under my shoulder blade, she FLIPPED!  She made me really nervous going on and on about how bad it looked and how dark it was and that she needed to take a closer look etc.  She put on her big magnifying glasses and looked at it for a solid 5 minutes before she said "it needs to come off".
I wasn't scheduled to have any form of medical procedure.  I was only there for a simple 'skin check'.  She asked if I wanted her to remove it right then.  I panicked.  I wasn't prepared for that.  Punch biopsy?  Needles?  Stitches?  Don't you need some prep time before committing to that kind of stuff?
Needless to say, I rescheduled.  So yesterday, I went in to have my mole removed.  It really wasn't all that bad.  A little prick from a baby sized needle, a second of burning as the medicine took effect and then some slicing, pulling, cutting etc.  I couldn't feel it, but I certainly knew what was going on. 
The  worst was when they kept wiping the blood that was dripping down my side.  I knew exactly what was happening and it was kind of gross to think about.  Anywho....if you are squeamish, you might not want to look at the after pic (wishing now that I would have taken a before pic).


Gross.



Now for the next phase of anxiety....waiting for the results!

Hibbard

We had family pictures taken at my Grandma's property in Hibbard while we were in Idaho.  We haven't gotten the finished product back yet (it's in the mail) but these are a few candid shots that I thought were great.  (Ryson had already gone back to UT when these were taken).

These get more and more creative every year!

Apology~

We had an AMAZING summer.  We played TONS and we didn't want it to end.  Sorry for the picture overload, but it's always fun to look back on good memories!

Everything in Between - During our Summer trip to Idaho

Zak shooting guns

Lefty shooting guns

Chaos, Chaos and more Chaos

We ate Chinese (What were YOU looking at?)

This is how the kids slept every night while we were there.

ZAK DRIVING !?!?!?!?!
Every chance he could get.